I don’t think there’s some kind of awesome moment when you realize who you are. It comes slowly and then all at once and you wake up seemingly outside the bubble that is your life and actually notice what is happening. This is who you are and who you will be. And I fully believe that relationships are a key factor in figuring yourself out.
You’ve spent your whole life denying perfection while remaining obsessive. You can’t start the day without making your bed and stack your books in a certain order on the shelves. There is a right way to refill the toilet paper and coats go in the closet. And you’re stuck in your ways until someone shakes them.
Somehow you manage to fall into the arms of a man who likes the blankets unfolded and animals on the furniture. He spills drinks and breaks things and there’s no way you could ever control him. You talk and you fight and you learn about yourself. And the whole time you notice how opposite you are; but you figure it out and somehow it works.
City of Stars | La La Land
In Light of Colleen 
Sounds like cultivation on your journey