I am ready for ________.
Are you ready for _______?
Do you see how these are different?
The first: a statement about oneself.
The second: a question asking about someone else.
Which do you find yourself using more frequently? I believe the answer can tell you a lot about your internal intentions. I find myself asking the question more than making the statement.
They don’t come across too black and white. I mean, each idea can create an endless stream of thoughts- one provoking another and so on.
Is the statement communicating that you are selfish? Or are you simply independently expressing yourself?
And does the question mean you are thoughtful and interested in hearing what the person you ask wants or needs to say? Or are you so much of a people-pleaser that you only do things when they are ready?
I’ve noticed that when it’s time for my friends and I to do something, I’m usually asking them if they are ready to go. I’m asking them where they’d like to eat dinner, if they’d like me to pick them up, what they want to do, and am catering to them. I am a people-pleaser. And while I am an independent person, I say these things out of habit and I act on repeat.
Now I’m not saying pleasing people is bad, but I’m starting to learn that it cannot be the way I perform/live one-hundred percent of the time.
On the other hand, being self-centered is not fun for anyone. It’s not cool to expect things of people and to carry on your life complaining about everything that happens. No one will want to be around you if you’re uptight, picky, and selfish. Friends cater to the needs of one another, but it requires compromise. One person cannot do all the talking and ranting and complaining. There needs to be some a balance of give and take.
I’ve been reflecting on my relationships and noticed how I wear –not to sound metaphorically cliche– a lot of different hats. I walk on eggshells around people who intimidate me. And I rant to people I trust. I try to please the people I care about. And I tend to block out the people who want to know me the most. Strange how these things work.
Perhaps this is something you’d like to reflect on as well.